Why Your Anxiety Needs to Be Managed Before You Lead Others

I can be a ball of stress. 

Before you quote Philippians 4:6 and say we should be “anxious for nothing” we have to remember those words were written by the same author who said he was “anxious for all the churches” (2 Corinthians 11:28). 

Spiritual leaders carry a burden.

We walk in a constant tension between the peace of God and a godly burden. 

And according to Steve Cuss - pastor, former hospital chaplain, and author of “Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs” - anxiety needs to be managed for two reasons:

1. Our Anxiety Spreads to Others

According to Cuss, anxiety is not something that exists merely internally. Anxiety has the ability to reach out and infect others around us. He writes, “Anxiety is contagious, which is why it shows up in groups as well as individuals.” 

Isn’t this experientially true? How do you feel when someone shares what they’re anxious about? More anxious. If you’ve ever seen an anxious person lead a meeting, you can feel the anxiety level rise in the room. The anxiety in us never stays inside of us. It reaches up, out, and spreads. 

2. Our Anxiety Creates Disconnection 

According to Cuss, “Internal anxiety creates distance between you and the person you are serving because you spend too much energy attending to your anxiety….” In other words, anxiety creates relational barriers because of self-absorption. Anxiety turns us inwards rather than enabling us to be present and relational to others. 

This is why cold, stiff teams happen to be the most anxious teams. Everyone is so preoccupied with their own anxiety, it blinds individuals from extending a relational hand to others. 

So what’s the solution? Here are 3 helpful tools I’ve extracted from the book: 

1. Recognize the Symptoms

Whether it’s “a racing mind, a spinning heart, or a tightening gut” it’s helpful to identify physiological symptoms that point to anxiety. For me, a tightening chest is an indicator. Discover your indicators.

2. Name the Issue

Cuss succinctly puts it this way, “Diagnosis de-escalates the power anxiety can have over you because the simple act of naming it reverses the power dynamic.” I’ve found this to be true and helpful. 

3. Apply the Gospel 

Whether it’s reminding yourself that “Jesus died so I don’t have to ________ anymore” or preaching a specific gospel component to yourself, the gospel needs to be applied to the specific issue that’s creating anxiety. This is a practice of the greatest news we could have, not merely the management of emotions.

Conclusion

It’s sobering to consider how I impact others around me through the ways I show up.

I can either create a ripple effect of connection through a present and non-anxious presence or I can create a ripple effect of disconnection and anxiety. These two roads perpetually lay before us.

If you’re a pastor or spiritual leader, I encourage you to take stock and inventory by asking those around you how you’re showing up in meetings and conversations. You can start by sending a text message to a few people on your staff, key volunteers, and to your spouse and close friends. Ask a specific question such as, “Do I bring calm to meetings and when I’m around you? Do you have an example?” “When was the last time when I made a situation more anxious? Tell me your observations.” The goal of self-awareness may be the capacity to be present and aware of others around us, but others are also the very means to self-awareness.

If you’re a member of a church, I encourage you to pray for your pastors and key leaders. Leadership anxiety is real. I’m convinced a significant portion of church leaders don’t even realize they’re operating out of a constant undercurrent of anxiety. I believe anxiety is at the root of a lot of unhealthy staff dynamics. Would you pray specific prayers for them? Prayers of trust in a sovereign God for every detail of the church? Prayers of peace for their families? Prayers for decisions to be made in wisdom and faith more than reactivity and self-preservation? Your leaders need your prayers more than you know.

Today, I remind myself of Jesus who experienced more ministry stress than any other human on the planet. Yet, he endured through the power of the Spirit.

What a comfort to know we have the same Spirit of God today!