My Stress, My Smartphone, and My Soul - Learnings From Being Phoneless For a Few Days
My phone fell off the kitchen counter on the first day of a family trip.
I knew I would be phoneless for a few days once I picked it up. It was broken.
I felt my anxiety sink in.
“What if something happens at work?”
“How will I communicate with my wife if something were to happen?”
“What am I going to miss out on?”
It wasn’t until I accepted the reality for what it was that I slowly began to feel a burden lift. I was truly unplugging. I felt like I was really relaxing for the first time in a while.
According to a 2017 study released by the American Psychological Association (APA), those who always check their smartphones (known as “constant checkers”) reported higher levels of stress compared to those who spent less time interacting with their devices.
I admit I’m one of these “constant checkers.”
And the data sounds about right, doesn’t it? The endless deluge of information. The pressure to keep up on social media platforms. The constant access to and for others makes it impossible for an individual to truly “shut it down.”
So to be phoneless for a few days was jarring and restorative.
Here’s what I was reminded of during these few days:
1. I have an urge to be god-like
I want to be omniscient (all-knowing), fully sovereign (free and in control), and endlessly productive. I know I’ll never be so, but I want to try. And the smartphone gives me as good of a chance as anything to attempt a divine-like lifestyle. Losing my phone made me realize how much of this impulse resides in me (and must be destroyed).
2. Constant connectivity is exhausting
I didn’t realize how much I subconsciously thought about checking my email and responding to messages until my phone was unusable. Much like how opened apps on a device can continue to run in the background after we toggle away from them, the same can be said of the smartphone and its many apps lingering in our minds ever so quietly. It actually constantly occupies our minds and it is tiring.
3. To be fully present is becoming a lost art
It was really nice to spend a few days with the kids in which there was no device competing for my attention. I realized how much my phone actually competes with my family members. I felt the need to recover the art of being a more fully present person to my family and to people in general.
4. I did not miss that much
So I did cheat. Once the kids went to bed, I was able to fire up my laptop to see if there were any key messages that needed to be addressed. Outside of a major story, I did not miss out on much. Often, the “missing out” I create in my own mind is far greater than reality.
5. I am not that important
Everything else at my work and church resumed fully without my participation. In fact, the entire world continued to spin and move without my involvement. When I’m glued to my email and to-do list, I can deceive myself into believing I am more important than is reality. Unglued, I saw who I was truly important to - my Savior and my family.
Conclusion
On the drive home, I was sharing these thoughts with my wife and she encouraged me to place in a few practices to keep the phone at bay.
Here are two practices I’ll be attempting:
1. Phone goes down when I come home until the kids go to bed.
2. Phone turns off during Sabbath day (from one evening to the next).
If you’re a constant checker, I encourage you to navigate your relationship with your phone as a spiritual discipline and practice, because well, it is. We live in an age in which our phones use us, as much as if not more than, we use our phones.
The way we use our phones is a spiritual issue. Jesus is deeply interested in our allegiances to our devices. The fruit of the Spirit of self-control should show up in our phone usage.
I told someone my phone story the other day and said, “I felt like it was the Lord’s way of truly causing me to unplug.”
This person responded, “That is the Lord speaking if you ask me.”
And I’m grateful for it. If my phone was on, I probably would’ve missed it.
