Are You Trustworthy?

It was one of those water cooler conversations.

One question led to another and the church leader eventually (and reluctantly) shared with me how he had lost trust with his supervisor.

This was many years ago but I’ll never forget the defeated look on his face. The loss of trust pained him. The energy it was taking to re-establish trust was draining him. His confidence was shaken and the early onset of burnout was evident.

It’s been said that “Trust is hard-earned, easily lost, and difficult to reestablish.”

This axiom is true in all settings whether personal or professional. We all want to be perceived as trustworthy and the wise are ever mindful of the long, uphill road to regain trust. 

What is Trustworthiness?

According to the Scriptures, Daniel, the young, exiled prophet gives us a snapshot of what trustworthiness looks like:

“The administrators and satraps, therefore, kept trying to find a charge against Daniel regarding the kingdom. But they could find no charge or corruption, for he was trustworthy, and no negligence or corruption was found in him.” (Daniel 6:4) 

Trustworthiness modeled by Daniel is like a coin with its two sides. These two sides are integrity and engagement.

Integrity is who you are when no one is around. This is about character. The Babylonian leaders tried to trap Daniel but “no…corruption was found in him.” Deceitfulness, laziness, or slandering was far from who Daniel was.

Engagement is what you do when no one is around. This is about faithfulness. Some are faithful and engaged when their boss is around but negligent when left to their own devices. This was not Daniel as “no negligence…was found in him.”  

Some foolishly think that as long as they don’t act corruptly, they ought to be automatically deemed trustworthy. This is not true. You can be an honest and kind person who is not trustworthy because you are not adequately engaged with the attendant responsibilities in your domain.

Others are foolish in the opposite direction. They believe as long as there are “results” they can get away with stretching the truth here or there or wearing contrasting masks in different environments. 

Trustworthiness requires both. It’s about who you are and what you do. If you are kind but not faithful, trust in your competency and capacity will be lost. If you are engaged but a dishonest person, trust in your character will be lost. In either case, you will not be deemed a trustworthy person.

How Do I Regain Trust If I’ve Lost It?

Trust is always lost in the context of a relationship, therefore it must be re-gained in relationships. 

Practically, it’s helpful when someone shows up consistently. It’s hard to argue when a spouse or an employee shows up the right way every day. He or she may make mistakes, but a person who shows up day after day is building their case.

It’s also helpful to be forthright. Be honest. Tell the truth. Explain the gaps without blame-shifting. Own the mistake. Own the misunderstanding. 

It’s also wise to get input from your spouse, friends, and co-workers. Ask questions like - “How are you experiencing me?” “What gaps or questions are you seeing that I might be missing?” Learn the values of your personal and professional relationships to apply those learning.

“But what if I’m misunderstood? Someone had a vendetta against me!”

A wise mentor once shared with me, “Wait and give it time because the truth will eventually emerge. It always does.” This may be a tough pill to swallow, but that’s precisely what happened in the case of Daniel. In the end, he was vindicated before the entire nation. The Lord already knows so spend more energy trusting Him than trying to shape your narrative.

Concluding Thoughts

Trust-building is a humbling exercise but a worthy one. Why?

Growing in trustworthiness is an endeavor in holiness since godliness is about becoming more like Jesus and He was and is completely trustworthy.

Jesus was the same person when no one was looking. He was faithful no matter who was around. This is why we have a trustworthy salvation. It was accomplished and achieved by a trustworthy Savior. 

Let’s grow to become more trustworthy, just like Jesus was.