You Can Be Joyful & Sorrowful Simultaneously

“I feel like a human being that’s been split in two.”

That’s what I texted my wife on Sunday afternoon. 

Our church had just witnessed individuals place their trust in Jesus for the first time. People rejoiced and celebrated as people got baptized. There was a palpable awe and wonder from the gathered church. I was filled with joy and gratitude. 

Yet at the same time, my heart sat heavy. The very night before, I sat with a dear friend who’s life had turned a corner he could’ve never imagined. I was filled with sadness and grief. 

I drove home that Sunday afternoon feeling like a person who had been split right down the middle. Tears flowed from joy. Tears flowed from sadness. 

You’re Not Just a Sequential Being

We like to think of ourselves as logically defined beings - that sadness ends before joy begins. New feelings emerging, only once and only if, an emotional vacuum has been created. Compartmentalized. Logical. Sequential. 

And that does happen. The Psalmist said, “Weeping may stay overnight, but there is joy in the morning” (Psalm 30:5). Emotions can certainly occur sequentially. 

But our emotions also can occur simultaneously. We can be glad and sad at the same time. Paul the Apostle described himself and his ministry parters as “grieving, yet always rejoicing” (2 Corinthians 6:10). 

They grieved because gospel ministry brought them to see the front row seat of sin, brokenness, and rejection of the good news of Jesus. And yet they rejoiced because that very front row seat invited them to see the miraculous hand of God and the people of God remaining faithful to Jesus. 

You were created with the capacity of being an emotional cutting board that can compartmentalize as temporarily needed. You were also created as a blender that can slice and cut through multiple emotions at the same time. 

And what if the path to experiencing wholeness isn’t choosing one feeling over another but holding them together?

Embrace Simultaneity for a Fuller Life 

You don’t have to say, “I had a good day” vs. “I had a bad day.” You can say, “My day was both good and bad.” 

You don’t have to say, “I’m in a good season of life” vs. “I’m in a bad season of life.” It’s okay to say, “There are good and bad things about my current season.” 

By embracing simultaneity, you end up creating a bridge you can walk across to get what you really need: Presence. The presence of God and others. 

You can walk across the relational bridge to relate with God genuinely. Instead of holding up a version of yourself you think God wants you to be, you can experience the gift and the grace of His presence as you truly are: With all your highs and lows, joys and sorrows. And He isn’t intimidated by any of it.

You can walk across the relational bridge to relate with others in a way where you can become more known. Instead of only presenting the best versions of yourself, you get to help people get to know the real you. While that may feel risky, you’re putting yourself in a position to receive what you really need: A real relationship in which people are known.

It’s okay to feel like you’ve been split in half. Just bring the wholeness of your split to God and those who know and love you. You’re being more mature and Biblical than you think.