Disagreeing With Someone? Go Meet Them In Person

Biblical and Religious Studies Professor Carl R. Trueman shares an illuminating story in his article “Toward a New Humanism.”

In 1941, novelist and journalist George Orwell wrote an angry note to a publisher denouncing British novelist Stephen Spender for his sexual orientation. Orwell, however, would write an apology letter to Spender a few months later. 

What led to Orwell’s change of heart? He met Spender in person. 

Orwell said, “Even if when I met you I had not happened to like you, I should have been bound to change my attitude, because when you meet anyone in the flesh you realise immediately that he is a human being and not a sort of caricature embodying certain ideas.”

In other words, “I thought you simply represented ideas I didn’t like, but I remembered you’re an actual human being.”

Humanization occurred. Orwell humanized Spender and in the process was himself humanized by seeing another image-bearer more accurately. In a time of division and fierce opinions, what would it look like to humanize those we disagree with? 

Less Social Media Engagement 

While social media can be a gift for many reasons, it can hurt for the very same reasons. Disembodied engagement means we can connect with anyone, anywhere. It also means we will say things and react in ways we would otherwise never do in a face-to-face conversation. 

For example, if I wanted to call you names in person, I would have to weigh the consequences of a potential fist to my head. But such a cost-benefit analysis is irrelevant on social media. In fact, the cost-benefit is inverted. The more name-calling you do and the more you stir up strife, the more you may be championed by your online tribe. It is simply better to engage less in the digital dumpster fire of our day.  

More In-Person Conversation 

Trueman add insight in his article, “Bodily interaction is key here: Looking into the eyes of another person involves a degree of communion; it reveals that person as a human being, such as we are ourselves. Bone of our bone and flesh of our flesh, to borrow biblical language.”

I experienced this to be true a while ago. A friend of mine was ghosting my text messages while I was trying to check in on him. When we sat face to face a few weeks ago and he shared what he was going through, the ghosted text messages became a distant memory in light of the reality of his real life circumstances. 

Jesus in the Flesh

If anyone had the right to drop truth bombs on those he disagreed with, it was Jesus. And yet, the Creator of the world came in bodily form. He literally entered the world and stood face to face with His enemies. He dined with them. He touched and healed them. He walked with them. He bled and died for them.

Who are you currently disagreeing with? Would you pick up your phone and meet them for coffee?

Humanize that person and remember your own humanity in the process.