Our house has been chaotic. 

At the time of writing, we have a 7 year old, a 4 year old, and a 22 month old running around our house.

On other days, a better description is that they’re running the house.

A few nights ago, my 22 month old decided he was going to go number two during bath time (He also grabbed what he excreted, got scared, and reached out the very same hand to me, so there’s that).

It’s been a stressful time to say the least. 

Oh, and I should mention we’re expecting our fourth a few weeks from now.

With pastoral duties on my plate, my wife has taken the lion’s share of the burden in making our home run. With her proactiveness and planning, I’ve witnessed our kids receive education, exercise, and more (even art lessons!).

She’s been teaching me a lot about parenting these days. In this post, I share a few learnings from her that I believe are opportunities for parents with young children.

A quick disclaimer - These are meant to be helpful ideas and not a burden for single parent families or families where both parents are working long hours (or trying to find work).

Here are 3 parenting practices that I believe are opportunities:

1. Integrate The chaOs

A while ago, my wife was baking banana bread. Not alone, but with our two oldest. What did the kids contribute? Very little, but they were involved. When we tidy up the house, she invites them in to help with a few tasks. When it’s meal time, she gives them simple tasks to help set the table. 

I once heard a quote that said that pastors should “invite people into their already busy lives.” I love that quote because it’s a reminder to integrate tasks and people rather than compartmentalize the two (which I have a tendency to do as a parent). 

I’d rather finish chores on my own and then be with the kids. But what ends up happening is the situation I try to control collides with the natural chaos of their presence.

This ends up leaving me frustrated (which is unfair to the kids). Interestingly, I’ve found that when I integrate the chaos, I actually feel more at peace with the craziness.  

2. Initiate Spiritual Rhythms

My wife got an idea for a daily morning routine (we call “Morning Time”) from a friend where we sing a hymn, read a passage of Scripture, and ask everyone what they heard from the Bible. 

We’re 9 chapters into the gospel of Mark. The kids don’t really share profound things. (It’s always, “Jesus got into the boat” even though there was nothing about a boat in most chapters, but I digress) But I’ve valued this because I believe we’re training our kids to see that singing in worship, reading the Bible, and having spiritual conversations are normal habits, not weird ones. 

In 2017, LifeWay Research did a study where researchers surveyed 2,000 Protestant and nondenominational churchgoers to determine what parenting practices paid long-term dividends when it came to the spiritual health of young adults.

Their conclusion?

The biggest factor for spiritual health was reading the Bible regularly as kids. 

3. Invest for a New Skill 

A month ago, my wife said our oldest was past due for learning how to ride a bike. Two weeks ago, all our son needed was 3 hours before he officially took off the training wheels. Our daughter also started scootering and running (like serious running). 

On the way home after a biking session, my wife and I talked about how there would be things we would regret if we didn’t invest for development during this season.

The present season is an opportunity to capitalize on before we get to the other side of a different norm.

I was also convicted while teaching my son how to ride a bike. I kept thinking that if I wasn’t excited to develop my own son, I had no business developing God’s people in the church for the work of ministry as a pastor. I knew it was a symptom of a sick heart if I strived for the church to be what God wanted it to be, without helping my own son step into what God enabled him to be.  

Conclusion 

Ted Tripp in his work Shepherding a Child’s Heart wrote, “God has called you to a more profound task than being only a care-provider. You shepherd your child in God's behalf.”

While this season has provided many challenges, it has provided a no-excuse, in-your-face context for parents to engage in the lives of their children.

I’ve already made tons of mistakes, but I’m grateful because his mercies are new everyday and God knows I need it.

We get to shepherd our children and show a picture of how God shepherds us.